The Habit of Encouragement
“If you want to reduce the need for confrontation in your marriage, cultivate the habit of using your words to encourage and build up your spouse. Be diligent in thanking your spouse for what he or she does, acknowledging his or her efforts, and praising his or her accomplishments. In addition to verbalizing your love for the other, this habit also makes criticism easier to receive. If you are generally supportive and encouraging, your spouse will be less inclined to say, “All you do is criticize me,” or to doubt your motives when you feel compelled to discuss a problem.”
Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families (Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2002), 66.
What is Forgiveness?
“Forgiveness is a an act of the will, a decision not to think or talk about what someone has done. It is an active process involving a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. It is the canceling of a debt that your spouse has incurred because of improper behavior or words. And just as God’s forgiveness of us breaks down the wall we erected between Him and us by our sin, our forgiveness of our spouse open the way for a renewed relationship with him or her. It brings us back together after an offense has separated us from each other.”
Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families (Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2002), 85.
The Power of God’s Grace
“Grace is not just the power to return good for evil; it is also the power to do less evil—even power to be less bothersome. Grace makes you want to change for the glory of God and for the joy of your spouse.”
John Piper, This Momentary Marriage, page 64.
Preaching and Prayer
"Prayer must carry on our work as well as preaching; he preacheth not heartily to his people, that prayeth not earnestly for them. If we prevail not with God to give them faith and repentance, we shall never prevail with them to believe and repent." (Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor, p. 123)
"Some ministers of meaner gifts and parts are more successful than some that are far above them in abilities; not because they preach better, so much as because they pray more. Many good sermons are lost for lack of much prayer in study." (Robert Traill, Works of Robert Traill, 1:246)
Quoted in Joel Beeke, Puritan Evangelism, pg. 58
A Basic Marriage Skill
“One of the most basic skills in marriage is the ability to tell the straight, unvarnished truth about what you spouse has done—and then completely, unself-righteously, and joyously express forgiveness without a shred of superiority, without making the other person feel small.” (Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, 165)
Don’t Question Your Election, Question Your Repentance
You begin at the wrong end if you dispute about your election. Prove your conversion and then never doubt your election…. Whatever God’s purposes be, which are secret, His promises are plain. How desperately do rebels argue, "If I am elected I shall be saved, do what I will. If not, I shall be damned, do what I can." Perverse sinner, will you begin where you should end? Is not the word before you? What saith it? "Repent and be converted that your sins may be blotted out." "If you mortify the deeds of the body you shall live." "Believe and be saved" (Acts 3:19; Rom. 8:13; Acts 16:31). What can be plainer? Do not stand still disputing about your election, but set to repenting and believing. Cry to God for converting grace. Revealed things belong to you; in these busy yourself.
-Joseph Alleine, An Alarm to the Unconverted (1671; reprint London: Banner of Truth Trust, 1959), 30
Quoted in Joel Beeke, Puritan Evangelism, pg. 58
The Power of the Pastor’s Life
"A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God…. A minister’s life is the life of his ministry." – Robert Murray M’Cheyne, Memoir and Remains of Robert Murray M’Cheyne, ed. Andrew A. Bonar (London: Banner of Truth Trust, 1966), p. 282
The Cost of Avoiding Pain
Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung, possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.
CS Lewis, The Inspirational Writings of C.S. Lewis (New York: Inspiration Press, 1994), 278.
Jesus’ words: “Blessed are you when oth
Jesus’ words: “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11-12).
What Does it Mean to Fear the Lord?
What does it mean to fear the Lord?
Commenting on passages like Psalm 130:4 and Ephesians 5:21:
“If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.” – Psalm 130:3-4
“submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21
Tim Keller describes fearing the Lord in this way,
“Fear in the Bible means to be overwhelmed, to be controlled by something. To fear the Lord is to be overwhelmed with wonder before the greatness of God and his love. […] That is why the more we experience God’s grace and forgiveness, the more we experience a trembling awe and wonder before the greatness of all that he is and has done for us. Fearing him means bowing before him out the amazement at his glory and beauty.”
Timothy J Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (New York: Dutton, 2011), 68.
